Mums are, without a doubt, one of the most judgemental groups in our society. I'm not just talking about in judging in general, I mean that it's usually directed at other mums.
But, I've thought about why this is a fair bit, and I saw a meme the other day that I think sums it up pretty well -
Ok, so this one's actually about non parents judging parents, but hopefully you get my drift.
Parenting is stupidly hard, and sometimes the only way to survive it is by thinking we're doing a better job that everyone else. Rational? Probably not. Effective? Hells yes. We all have plenty of failings that we, as parents, see in ourselves every single day - but if we see them in everyone else too, we feel as though we're not totally screwing up.
So, in order for everyone to better understand where judgemental comments may be coming from, I've decided to try and break them down for you, in plain English. Here goes...
Comment - "You know she co-sleeps, right?"
Interpretation - "Lucky bitch is probably actually getting some sleep, not having to get up in the night."
C - "She's so heartless, she NEVER lets her kids sleep in her bed."
I - "Fuck I wish I'd never let my kids sleep in my bed."
C - "She doesn't even work and she has a nanny."
I - "I am SO ridiculously jealous."
C - "She let's them eat whatever they want."
I - "I wish I didn't have to spend birthday parties hovering over my kids to make sure they don't eat any sugar."
C - "She took them out the other night until 9pm!"
I - "I wish I could still do the things I use to do before I had kids."
C - "She had an elective C-section."
I - "I wish I could've planned my birth and known what was happening."
C - "She puts them in daycare and she doesn't even work."
I - "I would KILL for some time to myself."
Look, to be honest, I could go on and on and on with these - mums who work full time, mums who 'give in' too easily, mums who are on their phone at the park, mums who bottle feed...I think you get the drift.
And please don't get me wrong - I see it, I understand and hell, I'm even guilty of it! But do I really think it's good? Not at all.
You see, below is my favourite quote of all time, and I think it's a really good reminder of WHY we need to drop the judgements -
"Everyone is fighting their own battles,
try not to be a cunt."
Sorry for swearing, but that's the saying, and I LOVE it! I love it because it's something we all need to remind ourselves of every day, and something that can help us to support each other, instead of bring each other down.
Yup, parenting is really bloody hard, so how about we be a little bit nicer, for everyone's sake?