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Keeping it under wraps.

August 9, 2018

Regardless of when you decide to announce your pregnancy, there will inevitably be a period of trying to 'keep it under wraps' - here are some sneaky ways to help you get by...

1. 'The Health Kick'

You can pretend to be on a detox of sorts - if your friends will believe that is something you would actually do.  If you're not one to go on random detoxes, then you could potentially use one of the 'sober' months to make it less obvious - thankfully they're pretty spaced out so hopefully one will work for you.  You can pick from Febfast, Dry July or Ocsober.


2. 'The eternal hangover'

If there is no way in black hell that your friends will believe that you can go a whole month without drinking, then go the other way - be constantly 'hungover'.

Lets face it, being pregnant is like being hungover anyway, so this one doesn't require much acting.  Just make sure that you space out the stories of what friends you got drunk with, and when, so you don't get caught out.  Of course you can also opt for the 'got drunk at home by myself' story, just don't lay it on too thick or you might end up with an intervention on your hands.

The real beauty of this trick? It also helps explain the 9am meat pie and chocolate thick shake craving.


3. Illness

If you are really feeling horrible, some sort of illness is a great way to get through - once again though, don't lay it on too thick.  We had a friend who went with 'an illness' once, and when she finally announced her pregnancy, everyone assumed she was going to tell us she was dying.

Some of my favourite illness are - gastro (literally gets you out of doing ANYTHING), the flu (great for when you're just too tired to do anything but don't want people to steer clear of your for 48 hours, like with gastro), food poisoning (perfect, because you'll probably, actually be vomiting), and a 'bacterial infection' - no one really knows what they are and it seems to cover everything under the sun.

Feel free to use this list of common illnesses and conditions - but be weary of any friends or family who are in the medical field, they may ask questions.


4. Broken or fractured ribs

This one is kind of extreme, but if you've ever had fractured ribs, you'll know it's a good one.  It works because you are constantly uncomfortable, you really don't feel like drinking, you can be tired because of the constant aching, and there is no treatment.

Maybe steer clear of this one if you've never experienced it though, your acting may see you come undone...


5. Drink alcohol free drinks

If you're hosting a party, or attending one where you can take your own drinks, see if you can be sneaky and drink alcohol free drinks.  They are designed to look suspiciously like their boozey counter parts and taste very similar, so even if someone wants to have a sip, you're safe.

People honestly don't look that closely at what you're drinking, they'll just notice you've got something in your hand and won't give it a second thought. Plus? Alcohol free drinks are super cheap, so even if you hate them, you've only spent a couple of bucks.  My favourites can be bought from the supermarket for under $10 (I go Coopers for beer and Edenvale for bubbles - both in the drinks aisle near the softies).

The one downside to this trick is that, if you drink a whole 6 pack or bottle, you really need to refrain from driving to keep your cover - which can be really bloody hard when you just want to get home and have a cup of tea and 12 hours sleep.


6. Have a confidant

It's highly likely that you'll have a few people that you are comfortable telling your news - so get them to help you keep the secret.

Don't want to go out? Get them to tell the group you've been a bit 'off'.  Want to 'fake' drink? Buy a drink but swap with them (or get them to drink from yours).  Simples.

Confidants are also great for buying you things that you may need, but are too paranoid to be caught buying  yet - new bras, pregnancy books or mags, industrial size tins of milo.

My only advice? It needs to be a female, blokes are generally bad at this game.

7. Just tell people

No pressure, but I love it when people announce their pregnancy before 12 weeks! Trust me, I totally get why people don't, but I also feel like it helps people get the support they need when they're usually struggling the most.

Having said that, we've never made our pregnancies 'public' before 12 weeks, but that was probably more hubbies call than mine - so you have to respect what your partner wants and feels comfortable with too.


Either way - good luck! And remember, most people honestly won't even notice x




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