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Confessions of a learner parent

October 12, 2017

If you haven't heard of Sam Avery yet, congratulations on finding the world's biggest rock to live under.  For the past two and a bit years, Sam has been cataloguing the not so glamourous world of parenting, through the eyes of his twin boys.

His Facebook has sky rocketed, with his relatable and hilarious accounts of toddler life.

I think he is a genius, so I decided to make him answer some questions...

 

Describe yourself in 3 words.

Happy and confused.

 

Did you really want to be a rock star when you were younger, or is that just to make your bio look cool?

Oh god, yes, definitely. Didn’t everyone? I realised when I was about 22 that particular ship had not so much sailed but rather, been hacked to pieces and set on fire by pirates. So I turned to stand up.

 

What is one thing that most people wouldn’t know about you?

I don’t really have kids - they’re actually out of work Mexican actors who call me Dad for rent money. 

 

Before you become a dad, what was the one thing you swore you’d never do (but probably have)?

I SWORE I wouldn’t post stuff about my kids all over social media. And look at the state of me now! The day my twins were born, I didn’t just become a dad, I also became a hypocrite.

 

Are you glad you had twins because they hold way more comic value?

It’s definitely funnier with two but when we first found out it was terrifying. Once we got the first 12 months under our belt things began to get a bit easier. Although now they can run really fast and NEVER go in the same direction.

 

Are you planning on having more kids just so you can make sure you’ve got fresh material?

If the first book sells well then I’ll definitely buy my wife some cheap wine and we’ll see what happens. 

 

 

Best dad hack?

I’m not sure I’ve got any hacks but I’d suggest from my experience to never feel smug about your minor parental achievements, as that’s when fate will lace up her steel-capped boots and kick you in the testicles.

 

Relive your hardest or most embarrassing parenting moment. Excruciating detail is best ;)

Handing my two month old son over to the health visitor with his arms in the legs and vice versa of his sleep suit was pretty awful. But for sheer embarrassment, nothing can really compete with when one of the boys left some floaters in the swimming pool that formed an anal flotilla and caused the pool to be temporarily closed. 

 

What is your guilty pleasure?

Sitting down, staring into space, thinking of absolutely nothing. That and syrup on toast.

 

If you could have a custom made milestone card, what would it say?

Happy Pelvic Floor Exercise Day x

 

You’ve got a book coming out, why should I buy it?

Because I promise it’ll make you laugh.

To follow Sam's adventures as he navigates parenthood, follow him on Facebook.

To grab his new book (if you're an Aussie) - click here.

 

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